On the road

I was away for a bit longer than I originally planned this was due to a combination of factors. I finished up me job deer stalking in Arnos Vale cemetery up in the big big city and on the last day me and the lads went out for a few pints of Thatcher's up the Highbury Vaults (smashin' pub) on Bristol City Council suffice it to say I was was a bit muddled when I got back down to the bus station and somehow I managed to get on the wrong bus. I fell asleep in the back and when I came to I was in this strange landscape it all seem far fetched something out of science fiction it was only when I realised that I wasn't having a nightmare that I was able to deduce that I was heading into the bleddy big, big, big city, London and hurtling over the Chiswick flyover. Well that was that, no bus back so I was stuck up there the only option available me was to go down to Kent and pop by and see Ian Stokey. Anyway, to cut a long story short he got me a few days work mole catching on the local cricket ground. Nice work if you can get it. Plus I now have a nice little stack of mole skins. I spent a few days up there in Kent, the garden of England so say they say. Well all I can say is that it's all a bit clean for me, sanitized country. Beautiful but it all is a bit well maintained. You don't get any slurry trails in the lanes up there and there's no mangy old dugs to greet you when you pass by a farm. Plus, I fell out with the locals when I was asked to take me boots off in the local pub. I'd forgotten to put me socks on and for some reason they took exception to my bare feet. I wasn't on the carpet and I told 'em I'd stay on the flags by the bar which they seemed o.k with at the start but after a few pints of Thatcher's which they had as guest tipple and for some reason, me and a few of the locals didn't see eye to eye about the differences between Devon and Kent and I was asked to leave. Well that was that, the final straw so they say I was hopping mad what audacity after that my day's in the so called Garden of England were numbered and as soon as I'd done away with the final mole I was back up at Victoria and on my way back home on the good old Royal Blue.