People of Ilfracombe stunned by A list celebrity.....

It come to pass that quite a a stir was caused down at 'Combe one afternoon last week when some of the more eager eyed of the townsfolk, obviously those without inherent sight defects, spotted an eye-catching green, gold and white flying machine circling over the town which it transpired after much excited pointing up into the skies turned about to be a helicopter. Not just any ordinary old whirly bird but one decked out in Harrod's distinctive livery. Who was this flying into town? Speculation was soon rife amongst local people as to the identity of who was on board. As the aircraft touched down up by the football club and it had Harrods painted on the side early signs indicated that it may be Mohammed Al-Fayed dropping by to take a look at Ilfracombe Town FC to see whether it would be a viable addition to his footballing investment portfolio. Sadly no.

Tim Burton stuns 'Combe

Thanks to the phenomenal power of modernn day communications , the passenger's identity was  revealed only a matter of a  few hours later by which time the helicopter had unfortunately departed, leaving many locals disappointed that they had missed out on a once in a lifetime chance to meet their idol who turned out to be none other than the famous American film director Tim Burton
One local resident could barely hide hide his disappointment, "I was so gutted that Tim Burton was in my town today and I didn't even get to catch a glimpse of him! I wrote my dissertation for my degree on his films and have been an avid fan of his ever since I first watched Edward Scissorhands. But nobody knew he was coming to Ilfracombe-it was such a shock...we don't get many famous folk round these parts! I suppose he has to keep it quiet or he would be swamped with fans."
The poor fellow was obviously stunned by the brevity of the visit by the director of Mars Attacks
The next morning I was listening to Judi Spiers on Radio Devon and news of Mr Burtons flying jaunt had obviously reached Plymouth as she had sent one of her cohorts up to Ilfracombe to gauge local opinion and once again the town seemed rather shell shocked several people were reported to have been rather dismayed that the town was unable to provide the illustrious visitor with some good old 'Coombe hospitality at least he would have been able to sample some local fare, a great big bag of chips and a few pints of warm Fosters on the Quay which most visitors seem to be highly contented with. A Mr Terry Loosemore who runs a stretch limo business in the town told the reporter that had he known he would have laid on one of his vehicles so that Mr Burton could take a turn along the sea front while standing up out of the sun roof to greet the waiting crowds which surely would have been anticipated had his visit been made public. Another anonymous citizen  evidently high as a kite on something cackled into the mike that she had received a dvd of Alice in Wonderland for christmas which the whole family had watched on her little boys new xbox. Rather bizarely she was of the opinion that Mr Burton's other half the actress Helena Bonham Carter actually lived in the town as she had seen her or rather the Queen of Hearts around on a number of occasions over the past few weeks.

Ilfracombe resident?

Back in the studio Judi was able to provide the people of Devon with some solace as apparently all is not lost, and the young fan and his good neighbours may well still be in with a chance of spotting Burton in the flesh in the near future. For, if local rumour is to be believed he was checking out various locations in North Devon as possible settings for his latest film Dark Shadows which Judi informed us is a remake of a sixties vampire TV series and is set to star Johnny Depp. Who'd have thought it.  I for one can't wait as I love a bit of American Gothic ever since my great Uncle Hedley who was book learned used to sit us down and read us all sorts of it. I remember one The Raven a few lines of which still sends shivers down me spine on dark nights down on the Strand. Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore. Oh Lenore!