Breaking News ...... More Police on the streets

Breakin news breaking news. Five policemen yes, five policemen spied in Barnstaple High Street on a Wednesday afternoon. Oh yes and a dog! This really is an unusual sight I guess as they were unable to get out and about due to adverse weather conditions in their van and squad car the station commander in Barum obviously decided that rather than have them sitting around the station all day larking around on the internet and ponging the place out with Burger King or KFC lunches he'd have them out on the streets. A perfect time to implement a higher police presence on the street in order to address citizens concerns about a recent shoplifting crime spree and a single case of anti-social behaviour. I guess someone has to check up on the chap with the asbo and make sure he is not venturing into town centre off-licences. My guess is that they were really there to do a bit of pro-active policing in an attempt to discourage errant school children from throwing snowballs at each other. You know, as recent media reports have shown, these things can often escalate into full scale gang warfare. Forches v Pilton. It happens. A slushy, sleety, slate grey, wednesday afternoon in January, perfect time to do it. Maximum effect. As usual Devon and Cornwal police go for the complete overkill tactic and relatively swamp the town when there was no one there. Half the shops are closed and even the beggar has shut up shop. Chummy himself is probably tucked away in his Pulchrass Street fleapit off in some narcotic reverie and contenting himself with a furtive foray or two to Summerland Street Stores until the weather improves and the usual throng of shoppers provide him with cover for his nefarious deeds.
So the Police content themselves with good naturedly taking on the role of tourist officers and give directions to the post office to a gaggle of elderly Welsh visitors who have been dumped off their bus on the square and have doddered up the High Street eagerly expecting the delights of Banburys, only to find it closed. So after a quick slip and slide around the town, gingerly walking on prosthetic hips they repair to the warmth of The Fortescue coffee shop for a pot of tea and an after eight mint.